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  • Writer's pictureValentina

good old days

Updated: Mar 27

As I was barhopping with my bestie yesterday, a few things came to my mind. (This is a bit of a long read):

I love observing people around me. See how they act, how they interact with others and what they do. I find it interesting for many reasons. 

The statistic says that people are more lonely and unhappy than ever. I can see why as most connections goes through internet. People in groups tend to talk a lot less with each other as their faces are glued to their phones and nobody holding hands or showing any kind of romantic expression towards their partner. Sitting in a bar with the bartender and 6 other people and they were all on their phone, even the bartender when not mixing or cleaning. 

You can literally be in a room full of people, yet be completely alone.

I think modern times with modern tech is a great thing, the possibilities are really endless and it can and does make our life easier, especially when it comes to exploring VR & porn (come on, do you even know me? ) I am all for it!

However, it also makes us less grounded. When I'm with someone, I want them to actually be there. No phone, no distraction. Humans are social species and tech is making people more isolated and alone than ever. I made a joke to a random guy and he looked at me like I was an alien - Who are you and why are you talking to me - kind of look in his eyes. 

I usually connect very easy with people, just as my bestie who sat just in front of me and we were yapping away like 2 school girls gossiping about boys (we always do lol). We will talk to whoever about whatever and not think twice about it. That used to be the "normal" thing to do. It doesn't feel like that anymore. And I think we are losing something important. 

People now struggle to be themselves when face 2 face with another person not even knowing what to say other than commenting the weather, cause it's so easy to do that over a phone - it's less intimidating as the people we talk with aren't really "real" so you can spew out everything you're too afraid to say out loud. We don't see faces, we look at heavy altered photos and vids and made up personas all day with fake "happy" life's & relationships, it's the new reality. 

It actually saddens me. 

Dating and hooking up was so much different before. You went places, talked to people while looking them in the eyes and if you liked each other, you made a move by stating it and showing your interest with body language. Now people are on Tinder and just swipe, based on how the person looks cause you're lucky if you come over a profile saying anything meaningfull about the person other than basically sexual preferance, looking for something, likes to work out or just have nothing in it. Some of the profiles were so stupid that I wondered if anyone ever responded (I really hope not)

How are you supposed to know if that's the right person to connect with when nobody shares anything worth knowing and this is just a joke to them?

The experoment I did was just to hook up, I had very clear boundaries, information about what type of man I was looking for, who I was (kept my work to myself ofc), and what kind of arrangement I was looking for (I am very honest and direct) Let's just say that after 4 weeks I deleted the app cause it was just exhausting and going nowhere. I can only imagine those looking for a relationship... 

I don't like texting or social media, I enjoy having people in front of me - people I can look straight in the eyes, touch and feel and share a laugh with (or other fun things) 

When a fertility specialist has to "remind" couples trying to get pregnant that they actually need to have sex for that to happen - I mean, what the actual hell?

I don't want to sound like "old" people do and say "those were the days" but coming from generation X - those WERE the fucking days. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who think like this. 

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk 💋




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